we have officially lost it.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
