i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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