i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
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He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
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YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
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