Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
