Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
