I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize