9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
