i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
