Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
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We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
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The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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