Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize
