Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
