apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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