I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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