I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
