I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Your dad touched me again.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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