Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
