Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
