You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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