I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
