if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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