im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Randomize
