your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
