I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
