everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
