what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
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