she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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