She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
