garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
