hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I see more hoeing in ur future
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