i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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