Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
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