so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
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