we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize