Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
