I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
