my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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