just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Farmville is her only friend.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
