True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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