No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
oh god the rape fog is back!
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
