Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
