you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
