Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
