The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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