I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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