What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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