maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
