He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I got inside last night via doggy door
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
