I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
