As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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