Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
false alarm. still invincible.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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