ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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