You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
