So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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