I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
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i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
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Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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