he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
