tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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