I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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