We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
