i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
There was a lot of him and a little penis
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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